Thursday, March 11, 2004
I got my answer from Judit, and it was a confused irrational one. Irrational answers are just as good as rational ones sometimes. I am re-evaluating whether I want to go to Hungary in the fall. I might just go for the Celta, and then go to Poland to work. I have this vision of myself being this free entity. Loving whom I chose to, and not getting tangled up in anything. I seem to have got myself tangled in something without even knowing it. Do I dare eat a peach? Do I risk the possibility of finding another four years of my life with another crazy European? But I liked those four years, I like that craziness. I am but a poor moth fluttering about, willingly diving head first into the flame. I don't think it's as bad as all that. It is a harpy song. Every one thinks the harpy is the symbol for men who harbour some fear of commitment. I'd venture to say that most men are afraid of commitment, because there was a time when they weren't afraid of it, and someone broke their heart because of that lack of fear. They were ardent lovers of everything about the harpy at one time, it's beautiful song, and even it's talons. Now it's just the song. I saw this movie yesterday about this mentally challenged man who goes on a date. I thought to myself. This is like one of my dates. I would say those things. Do you want to see my shower curtains? They have sail boats on them. Jen is organizing a clown workshop on the weekend. It should be fun.
