Saturday, March 13, 2004
I sent Judit this e-mail, saying that yesterday I was wondering when I would have sex again, fall in love again, and all of that. The ironies of life are strong sometimes. As I was leaving this very pc bong this morning, the lady, who is somewhat attractive at the front counter stopped me and handed me a note. At first I thought it was something that I lost, but I realized when I was gone, what it was. I read it. It basically said that every since she saw me, she's been interested in foreigners, and wants to be my friend and teach me all about Korea. It was nice of her, and I'm not sure she's interested in me as a person, as just a friend, or romantically. I hope it's romantically, because I think I need a fling right about now, but even if it's not, that would be great. It took a lot of courage for her to do that. Write a letter in a strange language to a complete stranger asking to be his friend. Obviously, she's open minded, and I can get into that. She seems really nice too. Kind. I want to get to know her. It was just the shot in the arm that I needed. God saying, 'you da man, Adam! You da man!'.
I was sitting there, in my room stuffed almost up to the windows with dirty laundry, thinking about the fact that it was the eleventh of the month. My anniversary with Pili was on the eleventh of November. So I was thinking about it, and I made my way here to check my e-mail. I then read the news item about the terrorist bombing in Madrid. Even though it had no connection with me, and my life, it was this big reminder of Pili and Pili's family. I was worried about Nines, so I emailed Pili reluctantly, and she said that she was o.k., but that things in Madrid were somewhat chaotic. She said that she really missed me, missed having conversations with me, but that she was respecting my wishes not to hear from her. She ended her missive with this quote, "Remember birds only nest when they are breeding". I thought to myself. What, you are expert in ornithology that you can make such a claim? And this was the crux of why we broke up, why would she throw that in my face? Maybe she wasn't conscious of it, but she should develop some awareness of how her actions affect other people. I realized that she is not interested in her friends of themselves, but in how they relate to her, what they can do for her. This is her notion of friendship which is purer than love. Hmm.
