My current adventure involves buying a lap top. It's the first time that I've ever considered buying a computer, while simultaneously having enough money to act on my considerations. I got Sumin to help me order it online and I paid for it. It was the first time I spent about a thousand bucks in less than 8 seconds. But unfortunately the computer wasn't in stock, so they told me I couldn't buy it. But there were some days when I thought that they wouldn't give me my money back, but I've found out today that they have indeed given me my money back, much to my relief. I'm going to try and buy another computer online and hope that I have more luck.

Just found out that my blog is being censored by the friendly Korean government. I can publish to it, but I can't read what I've written. This has to do with the video of the Korean who was beheaded a month ago in Iraq. Some blogs were showing it. I think it's just an excuse to prevent any negative comments from escaping about Korea....

Thoughts in a PC Room late at night.

This was my day. I woke up late in the morning because I had been out drinking with Sumin's co-workers, and with some of mine. J.P. moved into the situation, effortlessly, and I was somewhat detached. I don't like people. It's not that I don't like them, they scare me. I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing. I want to be free of the burden of consequence. I went to work, and started by checking my e-mail. I only had one, but it was from someone I flirted on-line briefly about two years ago. We made vague plans of meeting, but she found an actual boyfriend. It was good to hear from her, I really enjoyed getting to know her, but what derailed me was her claim that I was a genuine person. And it hit me that I'm not a genuinine person. I do things because they are the easy things to do. I drift. I didn't have the courage to end it with Pili then because I had free rent. And the same thing happened with, god, I don't even remember her name. Shannon, that's it. A cute actress I worked with for six months. I was madly in love with her. But I stayed with Pili. I have no moral high ground, never have. Then I watched adaptation, and it reminded me how tenuous my grasp on contentment really is. It seems like to be happy I have to lie to myself. Sumin doesn't make me happy, and frankly, I don't know what does, or what would. The only thing that makes me happy, a bit, is making other people happy, and that's pretty hollow.

I saw the new Spiderman movie, and I liked it just as much as the first one. If you want a detailed explanation of why the movie is great, check out my friend Josh's review at www.cinn.ca. It's pretty good and true. I have been spending alot of time with Sumin, because my schedule has changed and she's going to be leaving soon, so I want to spend as much time as possible with her. I can't help but compare her with Pili, and the contrast is striking. Sumin's an infinitely trust worthy person. I know she's going to do her best all of the time, she would never sleep with her ex-boyfriend while she was me. She's not the most intelligent woman, but she's got sparkle. Pili is a hurricane. The thing with a hurricane is that sure, there's a lot of wind, but the centre is empty. I don't think I want to talk to her for a while. She hasn't done anything wrong, but it seems she wants me to be her friend, more that she wants to be my friend. I don't like that. We were equal partners for a long time, I'm not going to start playing second fiddle to her now. So, something weird happened to me today. In one of my favorite class, we were talking at the end of the class, and a girl told me that she had tried to commit suicide. I didn't know what to do or say. I told the Korean teachers, and they seemed, not to care. I wonder if they care about there students at all. I care about many of them. It was just strange. In Canada, there would have been a bigger reaction, and rightly so, I think. Most of the time, these things are just phases, but sometimes, not. And Luke got a written warning. If you get three written warnings at ECC they can fire you. He was late 20 mins. late for class (his motorcycle was broken), and then he was caught studying Korean in class. He doesn't seem very happy lately. I think it's the mid year slump. I'm worried about him. I'm not close to him, but I like him.

About the Last Post

I was going to send the last post to a bunch of people, politicians, from smaller parties to see what the reaction was, and as I was looking for addresses, I discovered someone in Toronto is trying to do the same thing. So instead of going the route of grandeur, and failure, I offered my help to him. I'm going to flesh out my ideas about the direction he should take. Hopefully, he'll take some of my suggestions.

Saddam Hussein

So I watched CNN's covering of the first court appearance of Saddam Hussein in the 'new' Iraq. It was interesting for many reasons. The first that it was very dramatic, not falsely dramatic in the way of most political moments in Canada, but in a historic, real way. Here is a tyrant, defending himself credibly. That's the second thing that came through, he was in control the whole time, leading the judge where he wanted to go, and he realized that he was performing for the Iraqi audience. The third is how much of a propaganda excercise it was on CNN. They kept talking that he was very thin, haggard looking, yellow looking, even that he dyed his hair. The truth is, as I saw it, that he didn't look very bad. He looked poorly dressed, but people in prison don't generally dress that well. And CNN didn't focus at all of his arguments, but his image. And they kept saying that he was confused because he refered to himself as the President of Iraq. Either the people at CNN were being stupid or deliberately obtuse. The man I saw claimed that the trail was invalid, because it was run under the direction of a government set up by an invading power, and that government was invalid. So, if he claims that the government is invalid, he technically still is the president of Iraq. And they claimed that he was 'asking' for immunity. This was not a man who was asking for anything. He informed the judge that under the previous constitution, the Iraqi president is immune from legal prosecution for anything he does in his capacity as president.

I do not want to defend Saddam Hussien. He was a tryant, but he was supported by his people, and by the U.S. for a very long time. The fact is he was not removed by his own people, but by foreigners, so any justice he receives, will seem to be a show trial. And I think that he is right. The U.S. invaded Iraq, not for humantarian reasons, but to punish Iraq for non-compliance on Weapons of Mass Destruction. To allow this trial to proceed is a distraction from the day to day war in Iraq. And as there is no other constitution in place, the Ba'athi constitution remains in force, and so the trial is illegal. I am reminded of the trail of Slobodan Milosovic. He has quite capably defended himself from similar charges, of genocide, and war mongering. This trials seem to give tryants a forum. This reveals the motivations of the trials not to be a longing for justice, but a longing to discredit the former regime in countries where the U.S. and it's allies have caused the government to be changed.

Concerned Canadians,
I greet you on a big morning after. The country has woken up to the fact that the thieves are still in the kitchen, and the viligantes are still trying to burn the house down. And the citizen is stuck between a stagnant government, and a frightening opposition.
Now we could retreat to our collective cave, and lick our paws, but I suggest that we do something about it. I have an idea, which I believe could shake the political establishment in Canada to it's very foundation.
This idea, has been purposed before, but no one has dared to impliment it. This idea is a union of progressive political forces in this country.
There are two institutional impediments to this idea. They are the Green Party and the NDP. Why do I say this after both the Greens and the NDP have done very well in the election? I say this because with their success (which is vast for them, but very moderate in real-politic terms) they might find themselves adverse to the idea of co-operation, thinking that they can burst the bubble themselves. And the NDP have become institutionalized, and beholded to big labour. The problem with this is that it makes it difficult for them to adequately represent the working classes.
How do we overcome this dilema? First we must define what the alternative could be. Here is my version of the alternative.
My idea political party would be one that is nationalistic, not in Anti-American terms, but in terms of promoting Canada and Canadian interests. It would be socialistic, it would favour not only universal health care, but increased access to education and an improved quality of life for the working classes, who are the majority of Canadians. It would be concerned with the environment, as a country which destroys it's environment is a country which destroys itself. Finally, it would be a party dedicated to advocating electoral reform. Not only to benefit smaller parties, but to decrease voter apathy.
If that is the alternative, I believe that both the Green and the NDP parties would be willing to join some sort of coalition, or more permanent, more solid alliance.
The first step in the process of creating this new political movement, is to contact potential supporters, and allies. After this we can, together, begin to create this new movement, to make a great country, greater.
So, now I ask you, are you ready to step into history?
Adam Tod Leverton.

Lot's of news, although not really much energy or time to relate it. I broke up with Sumin, then I was really lonely so I unbroke up with her. It was good. It seems she appreciates me more. Funny how the simplest tricks work sometimes. The thing is, none of my actions are ever tricks, I'm not that smooth. I told my boss I don't want to stay, and she was shocked. Of course, she never mentioned to me that she would like me to stay, and I never gave any indication that I would stay. Turns out the figure head of the school director didn't like me because I didn't bow low enough to him or something. Fucker. I wonder what his qualifications for his job are in the first place. I bet that he has never even spent time in a classroom, other than to fix the a/c or take a picture. Very tired, must go.

I have decided to break up with Sumin. I'll probably do it tomorrow. She sent me this weird e-mail in which she was basically complaining because I was ignoring her. That's probably true, a bit true, anyway, but she said this has been bugging her since Friday, but she didn't tell me until Sunday night. That kind of irritates me, because I spent three or four hours with her, and she didn't mention anything. Plus, she said something weird about how she won't say that she loves me until I know her better. Nothing about knowing me better. Warning flares are going off right left and centre. I'll hopefully tell her everything. It's a bit sad, because I like being her friend, so I'll miss that. But it will be better if none of us have any unrealistic expectations. Work is going fine, I have to tell my boss tomorrow that I don't want to stay. I wonder how that will go over.

"Do you want to stay here or not?"
"Do I have to tell you now?"
"Let me know by Tuesday."
That was my conversation with my boss. No, 'Adam, I really appreciate your hard work, and it would be hard to replace someone like you.' I feel completely unmotivated at work, and underappreciated. I feel generally underappreciated in my life, but the work environment is a large part of that. I can be solitary, I don't mind that. But I don't like being taken for granted by anyone. That's actually the thing that makes me feel the angriest. Plus, my classes aren't that fun, and I think that if I had some kind of training I could do this job better. It's raining. It will be raining for about a week. This is the rainy season. I am trying to appreciate every moment.

I've been kind of absent from my blog for a while. I don't really have an excuse, except my over-working. Things are not right with the world. Tampa Bay should not have won the Stanley Cup, Steven Harper should not be about to win an election in Canada, and well, that's all that I can think of right now. I think people in Canada are saying the election isn't that exciting, but it seems very exciting to me. It's the first time in about eleven years that there might be a new government, and it's the first time in about twenty five years that there is the possibility of a minority government. Paul Martin, I think has been the architect of his own demise. He could have called the election when the conservatives weren't united, and in shambles. But more than that, what has spoiled him for people is that he has been portrayed as someone who wanted to be Prime Minister so bad that he was willing to force a man, many liked to retire. And his supporters seemed vindictive after, denying Chretien supporters, jobs, and shuffling them aside, as if the government of Canada was the divine right of liberals, and only the specific liberals had to change. But Stephen Harper? He has the charisma of an ant. But some of his ideas are sound, like senate reform. But Canada, I think, doesn't need a Mike Harris style federal government. Hopefully it will be a minority liberal government with the NDP holding the balance of power. Then maybe the liberals can renew themselves, or the NDP could morph into a real national party. (But I'm not holding my breath).